Friday, March 6, 2009

A Mail from a frustrated victim of chain mails:

I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003 & 2004 & 2005. Because of your kindness:*

I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.*

I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS. *

I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.*

I don't leave my car in ihe parking lot or any other place and sometimes. I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me. *

I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.*

I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.*

When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice. *

I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. (Poor girl! she's been 7 since 1993...)*

I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program would arrive soon. *

My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.*

Still open to help some from Bulgaria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle property of some hundred millions$. *

Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Ganesh Tirupathi Balaji pics etc. now most of those 'Wishes' are already married (to someone else)

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

I Swear

I Swear
I swear that this time I will stand up.
Not for what I believe in, but for what I don't.
This time I will vote, Not for, but against.
Against my own helplessness.
Against my own laziness.
Against two words called CHALTA HAI.
Against short cuts in queues.
Against cheating in exams.
Against Kharcha Paani in offices.
Against powerless inquiry commissions and powerful vote banks.
Against relegion in politics. and politics in relegion.
Against illegal constructions. and legal loopholes.
Against every cynic. Every non-believer
Against the belief that nothing will change.
Against the feeling that my vote cannot make a difference.
Against every excuse for not voting. and I will do this without fear and shame.
Because only by voting against all that is destroying our today, will I give my children something to vote for tomorrow.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

A Poem dedicated to all my friends working hard

Here i am sitting in my office @ night… Thinking hard about life

How it changed from a maverick college life to strict professional life…...

How tiny pocket money changed to huge monthly paychecks but then why it gives lesss happiness….

How a few local denim jeans changed to new branded wardrobe but then why there are less people to use them

How a single plate of samosa changed to a full Pizza or burger But then why there is less hunger…..

Here i am sitting in my office @ night… Thinking hard about life How it changed…..

How a bike always in reserve changed to bike always on but then why there are less places to go on……

How a small coffee shop changed to cafe coffee day but then why its feels like shop is far away…..

How a limited prepaid card changed to postpaid package but then why there are less calls & more messages……

Here i am sitting in my office @ night… Thinking hard about life How it changed…..

How a general class journey changed to Flight journey But then why there are less vacations for enjoyment….

How a old assembled desktop changed to new branded laptop but then why there is less time to put it on……….

How a small bunch of friends changed to office mate but then why after shift it always feel like getting late….

Here i am sitting in my office @ night… Thinking hard about life How it changed….. how it changed……..

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Brush up your Marketing concepts

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich." Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing"

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich, "Marry him." - That's Advertising "

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich, "Marry me - That's Telemarketing "

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: "By the way, I'm rich. Will you "Marry Me?" - That's Public Relations

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:" You are very rich! "Can you marry!! me?" - That's Brand Recognition

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - " That's Customer Feedback "

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party.. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - " That's demand and supply gap "

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him - " That's competition eating into your market share"

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - "That's restriction for entering new markets"

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Top 10 CEO,s

No 1: Warren Buffet


Billionaire investor Warren Buffett is the wealthiest CEO for the second year in a row, with stake worth $35.9 bn in investment management firm Berkshire Hathaway.



No 2: Larry Ellison

Business software major Oracle CEO Larry Ellison ranks second ($19.7 billion) in the list.



No 3: Mukesh Ambani


Chairman and managing director of Reliance Industries is up by three places at No 3 with $16.8 billion.



No 4: Lakshmi Niwas Mittal

Chairman and chief executive of ArcelorMittal slipped two places in the list this year to No 4.





No 5: Bernard Arnault


LVMH chairman and CEO Bernard Arnault ranked fifth, with his stake in world's largest luxury goods firm valued at $12.2 billion.



No 6: Anil Ambani


Chairman of Reliance ADA, Anil Ambani’s stake in his various firms is worth around $9 billion. Telecom firm Reliance Communications, his biggest holding, has lost 78% of its value since the beginning of 2008.



No 7: Abdul Aziz Al Ghurair


Tied at seventh place are UAE's Mashreq Bank CEO Abdul Aziz Al Ghurair and Microsoft chief executive Steve Ballmer ($7 billion each).




No 7: Steve Ballmer


Microsoft chief executive Steve Ballmer ($7 billion) shares spot 7.






No 9: Sunil Bharti Mittal


Bharti Airtel CMD's $6.9-billion stake in the telecom firm joins the list at ninth position





No 10: Tadashi Yanai


Japanese retailer Tadashi Yanai, who runs discount retail firm Fast Retailing, ranked tenth with a stake worth $6 billion.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Computer Knowledge

See How many portable hardware were attached to your

computer...
You will see all hardware along with all hardware that

are attached in the past....


go to -->Start --> Run

Type cmd

Now type command --> start devmgmt.msc

Now type command --> set

devmgr_show_nonpresent_devices=1

Now go to--> view in device manager

Click on View -> "Show hidden Devices"

Now you are able to see the all past devices in Disk

drive

nJoy...


create one shortcut....

Type shutdown -s in the address of shortcut

(you can type the name like "Love Calc" etc... and change icon and can send to your friends)


It is system level shutdown.....

your PC will shutdown very fast..


Rename Recycle bin

Go to Run --> regedit

Go to --> "HKEY_CLASSES_ROOT\CLSID\{645FF040-5081-101B-9F08-00AA002F954E}"

Now you can change the text of "LocalizedString" and can set to any....

Very Easy


Create Signature

Include your signature in your C.V. or company documents
Very easy.... you are having this facilities in your

Xp... you dont know....???


go to --> Run

type "eudcedit"

Create your signature with this editor....

Now go to edit--> Save Charactor

Now go to
Start-->Programs Files-->Accessories-->System Tools-->
Character Map

Now select "All Charactor (Private Charactors)"

Select your signature
copy it...

Now you can Past it in Notepad or world ...etc...


any problem... mail me at yadavbiren@gmail.com


Secure your PC

from your mischivious friends...
Lock your account after too many bad login attempts for

some period of time

Go to Start--> Run

type "gpedit.msc"

go to --> Computer configuration

go to --> Windows setting

go to --> Security Setting

go to --> Account Policies

go to --> Account Lockout policies



Change account lock thresh hold make it to 4-5
When entered bad logins .... Msg will display

"Contact Admin"


check ur antivirus !!!

X5O!P%@AP[4\ PZX54(P^) 7CC)7}$EICAR- STANDA RD-ANTIVIRUS- TEST-FILE! $H+H*


Open notepad..... .....Copy the above code in the file....then save it with the name fakevirus.exe

If this file got deleted immediately ....that means ur antivirus is working n updated!!!


Notpad Tricks




I am going to explain the simple trick in Notepad
Please check that you have Operating System is Windows XP. Open the notepad, type "Bush hid the facts" (Excluding inverted commas), then close the notepad application, system will prompt to save Save it as Bush.txt, press Enter. Re-open that saved file... and you can see the contents..and give me reply...


Edit Any Page




You can put this code into address bar and see the magic,
u can edit any page.
javascript:nick= document. body;nick. conte ntEditable=' true';document. designmode= 'o n';void 0


TOP TEN'S IN THE WORLD